Bananagram 8.5

Bananagram 8.5

Note: This post is midway through a series. You might prefer starting at the beginning.

As is true of many of my peers, I became familiar with the works of Friedrich Nietzsche through his pivotal role in modern computer gaming. Despite his greater renown as a nihilist philosopher (and general wack-job), Nietzsche has contributed significantly to the component of modern video gaming most commonly known as "flavor text." Put another way: Nietzsche wrote the equivalent of fantastic mood lighting. (It's difficult to think of what verb to apply to this process; "repurposing" implies that Nietzsche had an original purpose...) One of my favorite quotes appeared on the opening screen of Quest for Glory IV: Shadows of Darkness

:

He who fights against monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster in the process. And when you stare persistently into an abyss, the abyss also stares into you.
Beyond Good and Evil, "Fourth Part: Maxims and Interludes," section 146 (1886).

I've known of this quote for over a decade; I vividly remember it's cold, pixilated script slithering ominously across my monitor. One way or another, I keep returning to it - I treat it like a Buddhist koan, flipping it over in my brain, trying to unlock it with experiential keys. Lately, I gained new insight into Herr Nietzche's maxim while being threatened by an abomination impaled on a trident.

...which is to say a banana, dredged in vegan chocolate fondu and skewered on the appropriate fork. It's become a constant in my life; given the publicity of my hatred, and my quest for happy ingestion, everybody I know has begun emitting their helpful suggestions and favorite banana-preparing techniques.

And so, as I enjoyed an otherwise-lovely round of dredging fruit in chocolate, with otherwise lovely people, I found my beloved girlfriend looking meaningfully at the last cylinder of death (erh, banana). The room fell somewhat quiet, as the group realized what was going on. Suddenly, I was the center of attention: the boy who hates bananas, on the next step of his quest.

My god: I think I'm becoming a banana. At least, they're coming to consume my digestive thoughts. Every time I turn around, I'm being offered another banana. And you know what? A banana dredged in chocolate... is a horrendous way to ruin chocolate. I'm coming to think it's the texture: a banana is rather a lot like coagulated pudding, too firm to be creamy and to creamy to be solid. Unless, of course, it's the "small, sweet, red" banana I forced myself to eat three days ago. Or rather, attempted to eat: I couldn't get past the first bite. It smelled - reaked - of cedar chips, with a texture akin to sweaters packed in clay. This isn't food, people. Not even soaked in chocolate.

And so, I'm calling for suggestions: give me all the rest of your favorite banana recipes. Sometime very, very soon I'm going to make a feast of the things. I will cook them in every way you've ever heard of. Help me out here, The Internet. The abyss is staring back.

Comments

[tornadogrrrl]

Have you tried the friend plantains yet?
I quite like them ripe and fried, but you may be more partial to the unripe fried ones. They are less sweet and fruity.

[DMSO]

You already have the recipe young man--now hop to: Bananas Foster. Or I'll make it for you and that is not an idle threat!

[Stove]

Oh....no? Threatened by Banana's Foster! What's a lad to do?

So far, I've gotten (through various media) the following suggestions:

Fried Plantains
Bananas Fried in Butter
Bananas Foster

What else y'all got?

[tornadogrrrl]

you might like this banana
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_Yoshimoto
or for a more literal answer
http://www.powells.com/biblio/61-9781410107077-2

[Eliot]

This post was mind-opening for me. I was not even aware that Nietzsche had such an effect on the gaming world! Nor was I aware of your hatred of bananas. That's even worse than my aversion to tomatoes, which I actually still think is pretty reasonable.